“Accountability” pundits have lost their way

Last week Lebron James took to Twitter with an emotionally-charged tweet, less than 24 hours after the news broke of a shooting in Columbus.

His tweet read: “You’re next. #accountability.” and was posted alongside a photo of one of the officers that was on the scene.

A tweet of this magnitude — coming from one of, if not the, most preeminent figures in professional basketball right now — is concerning for many reasons.

As tens of thousands of likes, comments and shares rolled in, the public narrative surrounding the events that took place in Columbus were inflamed with assumption and misguided anger. Lebron metaphorically lit the match, started the fire, then poured — rather, dumped — gas on it and watched it burn.

What he didn’t do was wait until the facts of the incident were released, nor did he speak with, or even attempt to contact — to my knowledge, based on what I was able to find online — any of the parties involved to hear their side of the story, before drawing his own conclusions.

Instead, he frivolously took to one of the most popular social media platforms on the planet, with an incredibly impactful public threat.

When a public figure of this stature makes a statement like this, it is rarely fact-checked by fans and followers. It is taken at face-value and becomes their version of the truth; their reality; a cog in the wheel of their mind that shapes their behaviour, drives their judgement, and influences their actions.

Lebron later removed the tweet and back-peddled, but where was the ‘accountability’ for his words?

From the very person calling for accountability, ironically, he himself was not held to the same standard.

One may go so far as to argue, he himself is coming from a place of privilege as a multi-millionaire NBA player. Again, there is irony in wanting to squash social privilege, while simultaneously being a beneficiary of said privilege.

This has become all too commonplace.

The attempted resolutions to the problems, have become problems in and of themselves.

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Last year I had the opportunity to undertake one of the more challenging, and rewarding, professional experiences of my career.

I represented someone on the receiving end of a damning #MeToo claim and ensuing public shaming.

I’ve worked with many clients in similar situations, facing their own shamings, but this one was different in that it drew many parallels with my own personal experiences — a public shaming at the hands of a former fling.

I admit, when I first got the call to take on this case, I was hesitant. As a woman I thought, am I a bad feminist for representing this guy?

Of course, you can attempt to rationalize these moral dilemmas with the money you’ll make, but if you don’t have trust and belief in your client, it will always come back to bite you in the ass.

Interestingly enough, this referral had come to me byway of another woman; a champion of women’s rights, whom I have enormous respect for.

As I read the allegations against the accused online — in the court of public opinion — it was easy to side with the accuser, as she was the only one with a voice, sharing her perspective.

But there is always another perspective. In fact, there are multiple perspectives. There are three sides to every story: mine, yours, and the truth, which is somewhere in the middle.

I decided to give the accused an opportunity to share their side of the story, and made a point to meet with them in person, and strip away any opportunity for fabrication by asking my questions face to face.

What I received at that meeting, and in our subsequent communication, were many missing pieces of a larger story.

The two recollections weren’t conflicting, it was just that the public-facing narrative was missing many pertinent details.

Therefore people were making their judgements based on only a fraction of the truth.

For me, this was most certainly a case worth taking on, and I’m glad I did.

It allowed me to flex my strategic skill set, while also forcing me to take a look in the mirror at my own biases and rash judgements.

Because I had been hurt at the hands of an unfaithful, privileged man in the past, I initially gravitated towards, and resonated with, the accuser’s story. Had I left it at that, I would have drawn an incorrect conclusion and made an ill-judged correlation.

What’s more, by opening up a judgement-free dialogue to hear the other side of the story, directly from the source, I was able to build trust and rapport, which then allowed me the space to share my opinions and highlight potential lapses in their judgement.

This is where we can really start influencing adjustments in behaviour, and laying the groundwork for sustainable, long-term change.

In terms of our crisis management work, we were able to successfully curb the negative press coverage, and start pushing a more well-rounded narrative online. A win, in the grand scheme of things.

But I can’t help but wonder, where was the accountability for the amplification of the original, one-sided narrative? All of the keyboard warriors peddling a story that they had only heard from one party about.

Let me be clear that we absolutely should support victims.

But let me also be clear, that we should not blindly amplify accusations that we do not know to be unequivocally true.

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I have been on the receiving end of this.

As many of my clients have.

I consistently preach that you have no idea how detrimental shaming is, until you’re on the receiving end of it. It is psychologically damaging and quite literally, life altering.

It leaves no room for nuance or growth, and pits the ‘good’ versus the ‘bad’ in a sadistic polarization.

All while failing to acknowledge that there is an infinite gray zone in between.

The sentiment behind the shaming can be right, but the execution is sorely wrong.

The feelings of frustration are completely understandable, and the fight against injustice most certainly needs to be pursued, but we need to fight smarter, not harder.

Otherwise the wheels are just spinning in a stationary position, the engine becomes exhausted, and when you stop for a moment, you realize that you haven’t actually gotten anywhere.

If you want to resolve the pay gap, champion equity, fight climate change, or solve world hunger, what are the tangible steps to get there and make that happen?

If you want to abolish the police, what’s the game plan?

I’ve experienced some of the problems within the system, first-hand. I’ve been arrested at the hands of an affluent family and sports league with unchecked power; I’ve been in jail and been privy to how flawed the retributive model is.

There are layers upon layers of systemic injustices to grapple with and, of course, while we ought to think in the macro, we need to act in the micro.

I think you’ll find that making even the smallest dent in any issue, is an enormously challenging feat. It is rarely grand or swift; rather, it is slow and constant.

The countless number of people that believe they are contributing by way of ‘raising awareness’ through social shares, narcissistic self-serving images, and pretty click-worthy visuals, outnumber those taking real action, ten-fold.

Sitting on a proverbial throne, behind a screen, thumbing your way to change, isn’t productive.

It seems to me that the more intelligent alternative, is to position yourself strategically within the system you want to change, and build up your arsenal from within.

Shouting and screaming is easy, but patience and calculated action takes courage.

Ultimately, progress starts at the individual level. If we all collectively made one small meaningful change within ourselves, and then replicated that within our communities, how quickly could those shifts gain momentum to become waves, or even tsunamis, of impact.

For myself personally, I’ve committed to being better by reading alternate and sometimes difficult-to-stomach perspectives, and by having conversations and debates that help me learn, while also strengthening my own arguments and position.

I push back on the online mobs and cancel culture, by representing those that have been robbed of their voices.

If I am able to impact some small meaningful shift of judgement, within my own community, I consider that a win.

And I hope it brings me one step closer to a collective behavioural shift that destroys the idea that public shaming is an appropriate means of conflict resolution, once and for all.